Imagine Northeast Iowa

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A Ride of Internal Struggle
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A Ride of Internal Struggle

It was a cold and grey Monday morning and I had waited until around 10:30 a.m. to go for my ride. I had a small hope that it would warm up a tiny bit into the low 40’s. No such luck. I looked out the window and couldn’t see the tree branches moving, I figured that it would be a calm and cold day. However, after I had dressed and took my bike outside; the realization that I was wrong kicked in. 

The wind was cold and harsh; even tho I dressed as appropriately as I could, it still cut through me. Wind blowing on you while you’re climbing a hill is not pleasant. I kept pedaling onward and hoping for the best; usually there are points where you are in the opposite direction of where the wind is blowing. Those breaks let me catch up some lost time, as well as give me a rest from fighting so hard. The wind and extra effort on climbs made me struggle to catch my breath. The cold, dry air and my exercise induced asthma do not mix. I couldn’t seem to catch a break on this ride, and I quickly fell out of love with it. I chose to ride today because the rest of the week had a good chance of rain. I’m willing to go for longer rides in the rain when it’s 65+ but I’m not interested in going when it’s cooler. Keeping warm when I’m in cold, damp weather just doesn’t happen.

Today was a day where I just couldn’t wait for the ride to end. I kept pedaling, but in my head I had to quiet the voice telling me that I wanted to quit. Quitting wasn’t an option! I was too far out in the ride to turn around, and too far out to call for a ride. I kept on; it wouldn’t be like me to quit for I’m a bull headed individual. I just have moments like any human being does, and this was something I knew I could accomplish. Upon reaching the flats near the football field I encountered a blessed reprieve of the blowing wind. However, you could say the damage was already done. I wanted to be done now and I really didn’t care about the ride anymore.

I did take in the movement of my legs and the sound of my wheels on the pavement. I appreciated the simple mechanics of what makes what work in terms of biking and was thankful my body worked the way it did. I arrived home exhausted more mentally than physically, and poured myself a cup of hot coffee. I sat on the couch and reflected upon the ride, and having to acknowledge that sometimes it just isn’t worth it. I could’ve easily ridden indoors on the trainer, but my bullheaded personality said “Go outside or you’ll regret it!” I pushed myself to do something that day that I wasn’t mentally up for; I didn't feel up for pushing myself physically that day. A lesson learned on my end-I need to listen to myself more often.

More about bike, ride, wind, trough

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